I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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