just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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