but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
