i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
