About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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