Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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