just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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