Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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