they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
