If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
