Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
