i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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