This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am available for nakedness
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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