its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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