I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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