About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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