Ambien. No doubt about it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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