cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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