I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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