I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
only you would photoshop your dick
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
