I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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