You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize