I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Randomize
