they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
