Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize