it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
