did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize