yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
