We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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