After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
