You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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