listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
