I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
