hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you would pick up someone in the library
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
