I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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