His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
two words: eviction party
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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