she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
