This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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