I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
