Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
