When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
