Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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