Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
