There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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