We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm at about main and main street
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
