im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
