I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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