what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
