we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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