Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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