In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
