the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
