he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
