we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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