Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
there is glitter all over my balls
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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