Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
40s are totally the cure
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize