Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Are my feet made of real feet?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My dick has a subreddit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
