We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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