i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize