I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
