I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
