I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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