How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
