this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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